animal jokes

  • If you think your job sucks remember that somebody assembles dildos for living.
  • Why hasn't someone just squashed Spider-Man with a giant shoe already?
  • Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.
  • Dogs and men always look guilty of something. This explains the friendship.
  • Never tell a parrot your secrets.
  • So tell me, as an outside observer, what do you think of the human race?
  • Life’s like a bird, it’s pretty cute until it shits on your head.
  • My spirit animal is a scapegoat.
  • I think cow tipping is probably the most aggressive form of lactose intolerance.
  • I was just hugged and then mauled by a bipolar bear.
  • Gas is pretty cheap considering you're buying liquid explosive dinosaurs.
  • Let's play horse. I'll be the front end and you will be yourself.
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