philosophical jokes one liners

As a funeral director I always tie the shoelaces of the deceased together. So if there is a zombie apocalypse, it'll be freakin' hillarious
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I bet tightrope walkers have no trouble passing police sobriety tests.What do you call a cheap circumcision? A rip off.Stalking is when two people go for a long romantic walk together but only one of them knows it.
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