breakup jokes

  • Saying you are dumped, but we can still be friends is like saying the dog died, but we can take it for a walk anyway...
  • The queen honey bee has sex with up to 40 males a day... ...just like my ex.
  • Roses are red, Violets are blue, Vodka costs less than a dinner for two.
  • Valentine's day is coming? Damn, I forgot to get a girlfriend again...
  • Why do you never tell me you have orgasms? I would but you're never home.
  • You deserve a handjob from Edward Scissorhands!
  • I don't have a girlfriend. I just know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.
  • Love is like a fart. If you have to force it it's probably shit.
  • Sometimes I wish your mother would have swallowed you...
  • I've spent two years looking for my ex-girlfriend's killer... But no one will do it.
  • I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
  • We can still be friends is like saying: "Hey, the dog died but we can keep it."