jokes about friendship

  • Everytime I see you my middle finger gets a boner...
  • When I can't sleep, I eat. I think I have insomnomnomnia.
  • Men don't grow up. They just get bigger.
  • Every life has a purpose. Yours is to remind others that things could be worse.
  • You're as annoying as that app that turns sideways when I lay down.
  • There's no excuse for laziness... But if you find one, let me know.
  • I left your Christmas gift under the tree. I hope you like it better than I did when I received it.
  • You and I are best of friends. Always remember I will pick you up if you fall... ...After I stop laughing.
  • Life has no remote. Get up and change it yourself.
  • Your beauty is so rare, no one can find it.
  • You can always talk to me. I just can't guarantee I'll be listening.
  • Remember, what doesn't kill you, makes a great story.
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