jokes about women

  • I can see exactly 6 years into the future. I have 2020 vision.
  • I'm about to take a hot shower. That's like a normal shower, but with me in it.
  • You and I are best of friends. Always remember I will pick you up if you fall... ...After I stop laughing.
  • The onions aren't making me cry. It's just being in the kitchen in general.
  • My body is a temple. Do you want to come over for midnight mass?
  • My Christmas tree was too big for the car so I had to cut the top off. It wasn't so bad. I always wanted a convertible anyway.
  • I put the un in predictable.
  • Don't confuse my personality with my attitude. My personality is who I am, and my attitude depends on who you are.
  • I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, you're probably one of them.
  • They say you are what you eat. So I'm gonna start eating skinny people.
  • If it weren't for the GPS on my phone, I don't know where I'd be today.
  • I'm running out of people to disappoint.
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