animal jokes

  • Anyone else ever wondered how long it would take a giraffe to throw up ?
  • If you are what you eat, then my dog is a calculator.
  • Moths are really butterflies after they've removed their makeup.
  • No, I don't want to come to your cat's birthday party freak. My dog's getting married that weekend.
  • I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox the cat kept covering me up.
  • Men have feelings too... For example - hunger.
  • My dog died today so I buried him in the garden with my wife... It was pretty weird seeing her again to be honest.
  • You're like school in the summertime -- no class.
  • Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt because he leaves a pyramid in every room.
  • Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
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