breakup jokes

  • I broke up with my gym. We were just not working out.
  • Fifty percent of all marriages end in divorce. But look at the bright side: the other 50 percent end in death.
  • I never forget a face, but in your case I'd be glad to make an exception
  • My wife gives the best blow jobs! ...apparently.
  • Why is divorce so expensive? Because it’s worth it.
  • I love men. When they're not being lying bastards.
  • Honey, I'm pregnant! What would you like it to be? "a joke...."
  • I have nothing but respect for you ... ... and not much of that.
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