drinking jokes

  • I don’t drink to forget, I…what was I saying again?
  • I've finally reached the age where I can't function without my glasses... especially if they're empty.
  • I'm sorry I got angry and said a lot of things I meant but shouldn't have said.
  • It's a ten minute walk from my house to the pub... Weirdly, it's a two hour walk from the pub to my house.
  • A cheap shot is a terrible thing to waste.
  • Without ME, it’s just AWESO.
  • I lost a very close friend and drinking buddy last week. He got his finger caught in a wedding ring.
  • I gave up drinking, smoking and sex. Worst 15 minutes of my life.
  • I got so pissed last night I don't know if I found some keys or lost a car...
  • I feel like shit today
  • The weather is getting worse Can't leave the pub
  • Beer is a proof that God wants to see us happy.
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