funny confessions

  • I know a midget that is gay. He just came out of the cabinet last week.
  • I lived with a girl for a few weeks. It was nice until she found out I was there.
  • I have the heart of a lion, and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
  • I've spent two years looking for my ex-girlfriend's killer... But no one will do it.
  • I am not totally useless. I can be used as a bad example...
  • I've been waiting for the bus so long, someone just stapled a lost cat flyer to my chest.
  • I broke all my New Year's resolutions early so I could get on with enjoying the rest of the year.
  • I was going to quit all my bad habits for the new year, but then I remembered nobody likes a quitter.
  • There's no excuse for laziness... But if you find one, let me know.
  • Justice: what we get when the decision is in our favour.
  • The average income of a teenager is around 2 AM...
  • Every person has a story to tell, which is why I never talk to people.
first back12...45678910...1617nextlast