funny quotes

  • My Mum doesn't get the irony of calling me a son of a bitch.
  • Learn sign language, it’s very handy.
  • Dwarfs and midgets have very little in common.
  • How do you make Holy water? Boil the hell out of it.
  • Men don't grow up. They just get bigger.
  • PMS should just be called ovary-acting.
  • I don't want to brag, but... ...I can handle pain until it hurts.
  • I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
  • If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.
  • I hate pain, unless it's French
  • It's 2014. Can we get some colour photographs of the moon already?
  • Anything sounds wrong if you think about it long and hard enough...
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