funny confessions

I eat cake because it's somebody's birthday somewhere.
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My Christmas tree was too big for the car so I had to cut the top off. It wasn't so bad. I always wanted a convertible anyway.This is what I look like when I wake up after a nap and am not sure whether 20 minutes or 10 years have passed.They say you are what you eat. So I'm gonna start eating skinny people.
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