jokes about kids

  • Why does everything take longer than my attention span?
  • If I ever have grandchildren, I get to tell them I'm older than the internet.
  • Living with a toddler is like using a blender with no lid.
  • Gas is pretty cheap considering you're buying liquid explosive dinosaurs.
  • Toddlers are the stormtroopers of the Lord of Entropy.
  • Supervision. Not as cool as it sounds.
  • Let's play horse. I'll be the front end and you will be yourself.
  • Just looked at the price of baby strollers. I think we're gonna have an indoor baby.
  • Anyone else ever wondered how long it would take a giraffe to throw up ?
  • Don't grow up! It's a trap!!!
  • Dear kids, Want your wifi password? Clean your room, take out the trash & vacuum.
  • All men approve of premarital sex... until they have a daughter.
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