jokes about love

  • God dammit! Surprises are like Spiderman. You'll never know when and where the bitch is gonna show up...
  • No woman will ever be truly satisfied on a Valentines day because no man will ever have a chocolate penis that ejaculates money.
  • There is no better feeling than laying next to the person you love... ...and they don't know you love them... ...or that you are in their house again.
  • My ex is living proof of how stupid I can be...
  • There are many ways to show someone you love them... Sex is my personal favourite.
  • I'm sorry for what I said when I was hungry.
  • You know... ...this isn't the only wand I know to make magic with.
  • My last relationship was like Forrest Gump and Jenny... ...I was retarded... ..and she was a whore.
  • Eighteen is too young to get married, you can't even buy alcohol. If you can't drink, how can you make your marriage work?
  • I'd slap you, but I don't want to get slut on my hand...
  • People think Cupid is a symbol for love. Personally, I find an arrow being shot through your heart by a flying baby quite horrifying.
  • Saying you are dumped, but we can still be friends is like saying the dog died, but we can take it for a walk anyway...
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