jokes about friendship

  • An die Person, die gestern ihr nagelneues iPhone in der Linie 1 vergessen hat: HÖREN SIE ENDLICH DAMIT AUF, MICH STÄNDIG AUF MEINEM NEUEN TELEFON ANZURUFEN!
  • Vergiss mich nicht.
  • I love you and Happy New Year's to you. The preceding message as been brought to you from the bottom of my heart and a mixture of beer and vodka. Mostly beer & vodka though
  • Being friends with me may cause certain reactions 1. side splitting laughter that may cause you to pee 2. random outburts of WTF 3. several cases of SMDH 4. ALL OF THE ABOVE
  • Can't wait for natural selection to take out slow walkers.
  • I love how you pay attention to the things I like and spoil me
  • Yes, I am single... and you gotta be fucking amazing to change that.
  • I want to steal a donut truck and go on a high speed chase, because it would be funny watching cops chase a donut truck on the news.
  • There are three sides to any argument. Your side. My side. The right side.
  • My diet plan: Make all of my friends cakes. The fatter they get, the thinner I look!
  • No woman will ever be truly satisfied on a Valentines day because no man will ever have a chocolate penis that ejaculates money.
  • Good friends talk about their sex lives. Best friends talk about poop.
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