funny invitations

  • Want To Waste The Hard-Earned Money In Your Kid's College Fund? Enrolled Them In A Liberal College Or University Run By The Brained-Washed Disciples Of Saul Alinsky!
  • I'm a hopeless romantic with trust issues and a sex drive in overdrive Just kidding, I don't have trust issues
  • How about you put a dick in your ear and go fuck what you heard
  • David Hightower Federal Breast Inspector Certified cunnilingus expert Lover, fighter, licker, biter and all nighter Great kisser Leo
  • I have a penis That entitles me to say or do something stupid at least once an hour Play your cards right and I just may be doing you next hour Sweetheart
  • Tomorrow is National Orgasm Day I will be holding a benefit concert for women. Will you be coming?
  • I would like to kiss you passionately on your lips. And then move up to your belly button
  • I'm hosting a charity concert tonight for those who struggle to reach an orgasm. Ladies if you can't cum, let me know
  • Kiss me hard Fuck me harder Touch me, tease me Kiss me, please me
  • Good idea: Stopping to smell the roses Bad idea: Stopping to feel the roses. Roses have thorns
  • Sweetheart I'm not just special. I'm also a damn limited edition
  • Excuse me miss, can I take your picture? I want to show Santa a picture of what I want for Christmas next year
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