jokes about parents

  • My parents always taught me to treat others how I would want to be treated. Now I'm facing sexual harassment charges Thanks Mom and Dad
  • What is it called when you wake up hungover and you didn't even drink the night before? Parenting.
  • My daughter just asked me how to spell bourbon, so she's either asking Santa to hook up her old man, or writing a letter to child services.
  • "One man's trash is another man's treasure." Is probably not the wisest way to tell your kids that they're adopted...
  • Never raise your voice at someone who taught you how to speak.
  • Respect your parents. They did high school without Google or Wikipedia.
  • Our son doesn't like to do the dishes... ...so he started poking holes in our condoms...
  • It takes 20 years for parents to make a man of a boy. Then there comes a girl who makes a fool of him in 2 weeks.