get well jokes

  • Look at the bright side... ...at least Mondays only happen once a week.
  • The amount of people saved by god is equal to the quality of healthcare in given country.
  • "I'm sorry" and "My bad" are almost the same. Unless you are at a funeral...
  • You and I are best of friends. Always remember I will pick you up if you fall... ...After I stop laughing.
  • My therapist said I have multiple personalities and rage issues. So we hit him.
  • Be kind to nurses. They chose your needle & catheter sizes.
  • The doctor gave me a new jacket! Now I can hug myself!
  • Dead people are cool.
  • The last doctor I consulted wasn't very helpful. He just gave me a strange look then sped off in his DeLorean.
  • I've been through the checklist 67 times... ...and I'm still not sure whether I've got OCD
  • I got so pissed last night I don't know if I found some keys or lost a car...
  • Better stay in bed today.