funny confessions

Why does everything take longer than my attention span?
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This is what I look like when I wake up after a nap and am not sure whether 20 minutes or 10 years have passed.I'm not lazy, I’m energy efficient."Why is your cat at school today Jimmy?" "Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am going to eat that p*ssy once Jimmy leaves for school today!'"
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