funny confessions

"Why is your cat at school today Jimmy?" "Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am going to eat that p*ssy once Jimmy leaves for school today!'"
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I have swallowed so much of your DNA it makes us relatedWell, that was awkward. I was just about to hug someone extremely attractive and I walked right into the mirror.Friends finally ask me out to bar… Designated driver.
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