funny confessions

I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox the cat kept covering me up.
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I don't want to brag, but... ...I can handle pain until it hurts.I'm starting to think the only jewelry I'll ever get from a man is one of those house arrest ankle bracelets.My Internet was down for 5 minutes,so I went down and spoke to my family. They seem like nice people.
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