jokes about sex

Dear diary, I'm so excited! He says he's getting me a facial and a pearl necklace!
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I'm about to take a hot shower. That's like a normal shower, but with me in it.You can tell how much a woman likes you by her feet. If they are behind her ears, she is really into you.If her bra matches her panties when you take off her clothes... ...then it wasn't you who decided to have sex.
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