funny confessions

Having a gut isn't all bad Earlier today it saved me from spilling hot soup on my penis
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This is what I look like when I wake up after a nap and am not sure whether 20 minutes or 10 years have passed.It's a dog-eat-dog world out there. That's why I don't go out there. I stay in here where it's a man-eat-cake world.I've never been skydiving, but I've zoomed in on Google Earth really really fast.
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