funny confessions

I don’t drink to forget, I…what was I saying again?
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Sex is like comedy. Most of the time I don't get it, but I act like I do."Why is your cat at school today Jimmy?" "Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am going to eat that p*ssy once Jimmy leaves for school today!'"Sometimes, when I don't want my girlfriend to find something, I put it in her purse.
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