philosophical jokes one liners

As a funeral director I always tie the shoelaces of the deceased together. So if there is a zombie apocalypse, it'll be freakin' hillarious
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I think cow tipping is probably the most aggressive form of lactose intolerance.If marijuana is ever legalized... I can't wait to see what the commercials will look like.What if birds aren't singing and are screaming because they're afraid of heights?
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