jokes about parents

  • Our son doesn't like to do the dishes... ...so he started poking holes in our condoms...
  • Breaking a mirror is 7 years of bad luck. Breaking a condom is 18.
  • Respect your parents. They did high school without Wikipedia or Google.
  • Have you ever wondered if your mom kissed you goodnight after giving your dad a blow job? You are now!
  • My daughter wanted a Cinderella themed party. So I invited all her friends over and made them clean my house.
  • If you're a parent there are only two things to worry about. What your son downloads from the Internet and what your daughter uploads there.
  • My Internet was down for 5 minutes,so I went down and spoke to my family. They seem like nice people.
  • Dyslexics are teaple poo.
  • My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son of a bitch...
  • This kid has stuffed three plastic horses up his butt. His condition is stable.
  • 'Mommy there is a monster under my bed!' 'Be glad while you can, one day it'll be IN your bed...'
  • If a stork brings a baby, what brings no baby? A swallow.