drinking jokes

A GIRLFRIEND WOULD BE NICE. BUT I'M ALREADY IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH ALCOHOL AND BAD DECISIONS.
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I wanna throw a party with fake alcohol and see how many people act wasted.It's a ten minute walk from my house to the pub... Weirdly, it's a two hour walk from the pub to my house.The party's not over 'till you smile for the mugshot.
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