funny quotes

I always dress up when I try to cook. The odds of me starting a fire are pretty high and I want to make sure I look good for the firemen.
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More Americans have been married to Kim Kardashian than have died from Ebola...It's not that people use only 10% of their brains, it's that only 10% of people use their brains.If weed can cure cancer... ...just imagine what meth could do...
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