jokes about friendship

  • I'm feeling overworked and under intoxicated.
  • My doctor asked if any of my family members suffered from mental disease. I replied, no, they all seem to enjoy it.
  • Don't tell me what I should do, and I won't tell you where you should go...
  • Honesty is the best policy. Unless you want people to like you.
  • If stupid could fly you'd be a jet.
  • Did you know 'emas eht yltcaxe' is exactly the same backwards?
  • Your crush might not always answer the phone. You know who will? The pizza delivery guy. And he will be over in 30 munutes.
  • Most people die at 25 but aren't buried until they're 70...
  • Good friends are like wine... ...they get better with age!
  • I'm sorry for what I said when I was hungry.
  • Damn! Are you a fire detector?!? Because you are really freaking loud and annoying!
  • I think we are BFFs simply because we are both to lazy to search for someone else...
first back1234nextlast