funny confessions

Sometimes I think, "Screw this, I'll be a stripper!" Then I realise I'm fat... ...and I can't dance.
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This match won't light. Which is weird because it did this morning.I have a few skeletons in my closet. Every single one of them deserved it.Not to brag, but before something can be labeled "Idiot Proof," they run it by ME.
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