funny confessions

Sometimes I think, "Screw this, I'll be a stripper!" Then I realise I'm fat... ...and I can't dance.
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I had so much coffee I made it to work in under 4 minutes but I forgot to bring my car.When I was young I was afraid of the dark. Now I have to pay my electricity bills and I'm afraid of light.If there was a Nobel Price for cookery, you wouldn´t win it
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