funny quotes

I always dress up when I try to cook. The odds of me starting a fire are pretty high and I want to make sure I look good for the firemen.
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More Americans have been married to Kim Kardashian than have died from Ebola...Side effects include weight gain, depression and loss of sex drive... ...Ask your doctor if marriage is right for you."I'm sorry" and "My bad" are almost the same. Unless you are at a funeral...
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