funny confessions

Last night the cashier says to me, "Strip down, facing me" How was I supposed to know she meant my debit card. Now I'm banned from Wal-Mart and have a record for public nudity
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The doctor gave me a new jacket! Now I can hug myself!During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called from a hotel.Sometimes I feel useless. Then I remember I produce carbon dioxide for plants to breathe.
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