funny quotes

I'm new around here. Can I have directions to your apartment?
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Apple is about to announce the new Iphone 6s. It will offer cutting board function and thanks to its size it can be used for self defense...Apple seems to be the first company to be producing flexible phones. Congratulations!From Saving Private Ryan to Interstellar to The Martian, America has spent a ridiculous amount of money to retrieve Matt Damon...
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