jokes about friendship

  • We live in the age of smart phones and stupid people.
  • If you don't drink, how would your friends know you love them at 3 AM?
  • Do you know what's the difference between your argument and a knife? Knife has a point!
  • I wanna throw a party with fake alcohol and see how many people act wasted.
  • I want someone to look at me the way I look at my beer.
  • I do not get drunk... ...I get awesome.
  • Some people are like Slinkies... Useless, but bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs.
  • If I show you a picture on my phone don't swipe to the next, just look... ...you don't want to see naked pics of your mom, do you?
  • I'm not an alcoholic, alcoholics go to meetings. I'm a drunk, we go to parties...
  • Friendship is so weird. You just pick a human and think: "I like this one." And you just do stuff with them...
  • I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
  • My Internet was down for 5 minutes,so I went down and spoke to my family. They seem like nice people.
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