philosophical jokes one liners

  • I can't decide if I need a hug, a large coffee, six shots of vodka, or a week of sleep.
  • A Muslim, a Jew and an Atheist all walk into a coffee shop... ...and they talk, laugh, drink coffee and become friends. That isn't a joke. It's what happens when you're not an asshole...
  • A Muslim, a Jew and an Atheist all walk into a coffee shop... ...and they talk, laugh, drink coffee and become friends. That isn't a joke. It's what happens when you're not an asshole...
  • People think Cupid is a symbol for love. Personally, I find an arrow being shot through your heart by a flying baby quite horrifying.
  • It's funny how fast your mood can change after you step in some water with socks on.
  • Sometimes I feel useless... ...then I realise, that I breathe out carbon dioxide for plants to breathe...
  • Considering that most of the people are buried in suits, the zombie apocalypse is going to be quite a formal event.
  • From Saving Private Ryan to Interstellar to The Martian, America has spent a ridiculous amount of money to retrieve Matt Damon...
  • "I antagonize almost everyone I meet. I think its a mirth defect." - Rock Cowles
  • Why is shit tapered? So your asshole doesn't slam shut.
  • "On a Scale of One to Ten You Suck Monkey Balls." - Rock Cowles
  • "On a Scale of One to Ten You Suck Monkey Balls." - Rock Cowles
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